A Bum's Life...

WARNING: This is a loooong post. So if you don't want to waste your time for me, please leave my page. :) You've been warned... If you decided to read this until the end, thank you very much. :D

March 30, 2009 was the day I was really looking forward to this year. :D Ever since my 2nd sem during junior year, I wanted college life to end.Thesis was oh sooooo hell and I just wanted it to end. You know how it is when you're stressed out and just want whatever it is that's causing you stress to end right? That's how I felt. I just wanted everything to be done. Luckily, I had an awesome frietner (friend and partner) that saved me during critical moments when I wanted to give up. :)

I remember telling myself more than a year ago that everything will be over in a few months. I counted my months off before I finally get to live my señorita life. The time when I won't have to worry about anything, nothing to do. My carefree life. Señorita nga eh. :))

I asked my parents that I get my time-off. My summer vacation is mine and won't spend it looking for a job. I said that this would be my last before I turn myself into a workaholic.

BE CAREFULL WHAT YOU WISH FOR...('coz you just might get it. you just might get it! ooops! kanta pala yun. hahaha!)

August 30, 2009 still livin' my señorita life only that I am no longer a señorita (never really was. basta yun) and I don't have a life as well. I only asked for two months off. I had three extra months. Siguro sabi sakin, yan ang gusto mo ha...

You can't say I didn't do my part. I had my first exam and interview while I was still in school! Hindi naman ako nagpabaya. I even had another exam before I graduated.

But I devoted my summer vacation for leisure and relaxation. Huling hirit ko na yun kaya sinulit ko talaga. But I went to two other exams during that time. So you can't say I bummed the whole time. Nag-effort naman ako. When June came and most of my friends had their first jobs and some friends went back to school, I was dead set to get my a** off the couch and look for a job.

I was about to give up on my dream job when they still haven't called me for an interview. I was about to look somewhere else...when I got this SMS from the company asking if I was still interested.

I immediately called the number given to me but it was oh so busy! Parang hotline sa sobrang busy eh. So I thought maybe it's not meant for me...then I got thru the line. They gave me a sched for an impact interview (kung nag-apply kayo dun, alam niyo na yung company) and I prepared everything I needed.

I love being around people. Catch is, people I know. I shy away from big crowds that I don't know. Speaking in front of strangers was bloody hell for me!

Yun daw ang pinakamadugo, ang impact interview. It's make or break. Two minutes of fame, tell anything about yourself. I even rehearsed what I was going to say. Ilang araw ko rin inisip ano ang sasabihin ko na pwedeng mag-standout.

I thought to myself, if I fail this, modesty aside, it would be my first time to fail in my job-hunting. I'd rather take all the written exams rather than face a crowd of strangers.

But I sooooo wanted this and I made extra, extra effort to get thru. I passed and I was relieved that my effort was noticed. Nasabi ko na lang, "Thank You Lord!". I believe everything happens for a reason. Hindi naman ako papasa ng wala lang di ba??

I was to take the written exam two days after. I was confident about it but still I wasn't expecting anything. I passed with just one take. I felt so elated.

One step at a time, was my motto with this company. They have a series of exams before they hire you. I took each step with utmost care so as not to trip over. I really want this and I did things I never thought I can.

They told me to wait for the next step. I hate waiting but I patiently did. There's nothing I can do 'coz they call the shots.

A month passed... I wondered what was taking them sooooo long. I made my connection work for the first time. I was advised to just wait for their call. And so I did.

A month and a half still no call from them. I was told to look for a different job 'coz it's bad business right now. Olats ang company. Freeze hiring.

My whole world came crumbling and ate me up alive! My whole life was planned out and BOOM!

Two solid months of waiting tapos wala rin pala. Sana hindi na lang ako pumasa noong simula pa lang para hindi na ko umasa pa.

I was sooooo frustrated. I cried each and every night about the whole thing. A week or two perhaps. I still cry about it at times. I don't get over frustrations easily.

I was confused with God's plan for me. I thought this was it. After all that I've been through. Alam mo yung feeling eto na eh tapos hindi pala? Ganun. You come to a certain point where you ask Him why. I was there. I didn't really know why.

All my life, I got everything that I wanted. If not all, at least I was close enough to what I wanted. Maybe that was God's reason. It was a reality check for me that I can't get everything I want.

My mum told me not to be frustrated about it 'coz no one wanted it and no one saw it coming. Also, a dear friend told me, "Plano ka ng plano baka hindi yan ang plano ni God sayo".

That hit me hard. It made me come back to my senses. I was too busy planning my whole life not thinking about God's plan. I know better now. His plans are far greater than mine. :)

It's not a NO, it's just a REDIRECTION :D

The burning flame in my heart is alive once again. I am back to hunting that ONE job for me. There are a few potentials and I hope that one of them is FOR ME. I pray to God to lead me to the right direction. Iparamdam po sakin ng bongga that THE ONE job for me is right in front of me 'coz I can be dangerously dense. :))

enjoying my work-free day at the beach♥♥♥

So please pray with me that I find the ONE job for me soon. :D 'til then...