no deal for real =)

Since I entered college, I started to see things on a different point of view.  One major thing was friendship.  I valued my friends more including this friendship with my best boy bud.  My other friends thought we were an item.  Oh my gosh! I would always answer no and we are JUST really tight.  The thought of being with him was sooooo farfetched.  Snow would have to fall here first before I fall for him.  Months passed and we became closer than ever.  I never ever imagined it but I felt it much to my dismay (snow is not a requirement for me to fall for him pala!).  I tried to be just a friend but he was so darn confusing.  Friends told me there was something between us.  I didn’t want to assume that time and I was really manhid.  Nagpapahiwatig na sakin and I still think he’s just that way to a dear friend.  It came to a point that I was really confused and I said something that he misunderstood.  I wasn’t sure if we’ve crossed the line or just super close buddies.  Things became clear after that judging from his reaction.  I tried to make it up to him but he totally ignored me for a month before he talked to me again!  We weren’t able to talk about the misunderstanding we had. Next thing I knew was he was courting someone else.  ‘Twas like a whirlwind romance and I was left sad all over again.  I don’t want to be his friend anymore, not that time.  When I was finally over him, I gave it (friendship) another shot.  I was back to this heaven-sent super friend with no feelings attached and at the same time keeping distance from him ‘coz he had a girlfriend.  We bonded frequently like the good old times when he was single.  I think he missed it or it was me he was missing.  I don’t really know and I don’t really care. =)  He broke up with her like he always does. We were back to where we left off before all the confusion came in.  Then we were back to away-bati mode.  It came to a peak that I finally realized that it’s enough, before he breaks my precious heart again.  He was starting to be confusing again.  Forget everything about pride eh?  I did but you didn’t.  It’s a two-way communication boy.  We’re friends but it wouldn’t work with me doing all the effort.  I did my part, even more than what I can give.  Before, I was hopeful that there was still something there.  Whether there is something (most likely) or none at all, THE HELL I CARE. =)  The way I see things now, it’s no deal and this time it’s for real. =)  I made this blog for you to know…  People say that I am bitter.  Seriously, I am not.  I just don’t want sh*t thrown my way.  Who does anyway? ‘til then…=)